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smaxiP
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Name: Samantha
Birthday: 11/9/1991
Gender: Female
Interests: i'm interested in pretty much everything, i just never get on to doing them, or am not good at them, or i just don't get the oppurtunity..
i like flying tho (like being THE pilot..), i've done it a few times n also did 2 gliding courses..
i like kayaaking n got a one star badge.. um tried wind surfing... i can go on n on
Expertise: procastinating.. sleeping.. baking cakes XP (and getting a GCSE for it).. being lazy.. laughing.. argueing.. pissing ppl off (+ pissing myself off).. tearing after movies (or during) such as garfield n 13 going on 30 lol.. stuf i reli shudn't proud of reli
Occupation: Student
Industry: ....
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/29/2006
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| "maybe we have to get a lil messed up, before we can step up".......
nad things happen to good people
everything's good, nobody happy
maybe we have to get a lil messed up, before we can step up
a: no pain no gain b: pain but no gain man
danke af und e. x iaff ps: hou sweet de dreams right? : P | | |
| fomerly "a series of unintentional bad trips" / "i'm having a bad trip, but i'm through with skeletons."
A lot can change in 2 years in a year a month a week in a day.
I stared at my last post for a while... 2 years huh? The post was a recap on my week, to write a recap on this past week would be...would be going through my closet, re-airing them skeletons: to take yet another bad trip; it could basically be summed up by the word "absent".
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Sitting by my desk, a strange force drove me to xanga. Perhaps it's sneakella's forces... We don't really talk these days. Last year I expressed my wish to be "good", to be "better". Things went well for a while and then I slipped. You were there to ... seek me out hhaa. You said something along the lines of "I can't believe you thought just half the effort was okay".
At the end of the day, I hold sole responsibility for my actions, it's my fault if my ass isn't in schoool, not anyone elses. Why don't I ever get that? I'm there not to please my parents (hah), so staying home when mother says go to school, isn't infact going against her will.
If my ass isn't in school, well my ass ain't gonna learn nothing. I lose out. My ass has to be in school. Why oh why does my ass insist on jeopardizing it's own chances? My ass is a coward, an easily guilted, easily scared ass with an extremely irregular sleep pattern(/natural waking time) okay i'mma stop with the ass references and this lil mope-fest.
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How shall I end this? Hmm.. i suppose i should get a lil sentimental. My middle school years were lived in a perpetual state of ignorance, ignorant to the many good opportunities presented. High school, has been.. an emotional turmoil (I knew there was a reason I wasn't too keen on roller coasters).
. Things were almost perfect, then bit by bit things fell apart.
. I had a great teacher who cared about my life, who was willing to put effort into ... guiding me, who considered me as something other than a bad apple.
I became fast friends and grew extremely close and emotionally dependent on a core group of friends, so close that within hours of breaking off for summer and being in another city, I was anxious to get in touch with them.
Those were the good days, the days were when I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, they'd take me out to lunch and dupe me into a mini celebration.
. I thanked God for blessing me with such friends. On new years, the first thing that came to mind, was to pray to God and thank him again, for his blessings. I thanked my friends.
. And then all smiles stopped as I thanked God, again. Those friends I depended on slowly slipped away, in ways I didn't think were possible. It was how and to whom I lost it that truly made my heart ache. But as someone once said, and thank God, I make friends easily. Sometimes you need a clean slate, to discover truly amazing things in life, some insanely awesome things : ) . ( that is a nonohaii... it's QUALITY. NOT QUANTITY.. except with chocolates )
--- -- --. says: ah.HAHAH : P nah, still quality man. this one is definitely quality : ) . Dealing with me is tough, exhausting, frustrating. Sometimes I forget, lately I've just been tossing people's concern away, i've been unappreciative. Lately I've been relapsing, to my old ways.
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So what?
--- -- --. says: bad timing it maybe, amidst another bad trip, i just wanted to ....thank you
for being so awesome, dealing with me as a person isn't easy. so yea
i'm through with being so facking gay. being the type of person i want to mess up
so badly if and when i meet them
( that is a nono, never become the person you want to mess up really badly )
--- -- --. says: ah.yes. i'm on a slippery road my friend (that's it, haha. no more skiiving
and antisocialing, look at the expessions i've used... man.
( thats a big commitment...you sure you can do it? )
. So intentionally or not, after a week of airing out skeletons, of 'tripping', I've had enough.
Why let someone, some ordeal affect me in such depths? Why is my stupidity taking over my life?
I say that, but it doesn't mean much. She was right, the next day, i'm still in my pajamas at 6, hiding from the consquences of my actions, still.. re-lapsing.
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| last week i spent a lot (on food) lol- the funny thing's everybody had a pig out week too!! maddie n hen spent loadsa money on junk food n well finished it within hours...
last week i (finally....) handed in my geography c/w
last week i got something reli huge off my chest... i never reli had the courage to say it but once i did, i came pouring out of me in a slur.. but i got loadsa support, i denied it but it was there..
last week(end) kat had the most.. phenomenal (only way to explain) weekend, every time she stays it something weird happens, this time she got thrown around the rugby pitch (well.. kinda) n now she's on crutches!!!! n was in tears just now... (well apart from that other time, i've never seen her cry)
last week i heard the most (some what) amusing hour long phone conversation.. lol & memmi well broke it off with her bf >< but they're still frds.. hopefully
last week charlene bought a whole chicken!!! roflmao so dam funny..
last week i was still avoiding calling the relatives.. (i finally called like just now..)
last week i wrote anorexic decay in chemistry instead of anaerobic....genius
last week i beat marie in a game she played for ages!! n i won her, by miles!!
last week i made sure i'm baking cakes 3 days in a row this week.. lol- a bit excessive dontcha think?
LAST WEEK HANNAH HEAP was sick AND MOVED OUTTA MY ROOM!!! now i can breathe properly, more ppl come n stay for a lot longer- me n han (P) did like 3 n a bit hours of math c/w o_O most i've done in ages ever done) n i can turn the light on n the window open when ever i want!! i used to say to her "just coz u like living in a sealed cage in the dark ages when there's "modern technology", doesn't mean i have to!"
this morning, we had bananas in art + i got "violent" with the slow ass computers in the art room.. (i figured out i get extremely frustrated by computers in an extraordinary short period of time: it's unbelievable..)
now, i'm bored..
lol um a lil story from last week.... enjoy! 
Gb samantha x]
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| OMG i just saw a total lunar eclipse!! it was pretty awsome (+ apparently it was better than hk's >3<)- except no one had their cameras with them so ya... no photo  but it's amaaaazing, i'd never ever thought i'd be able to see one in my life (this was when i was first taught about this stuf.. in 3rd grade) but ya it was like pinky orangey n we lied down moon/star gazed ^^.. o rite this week was um alrite.. i had a popular weekend tho ^^ quite funny coz last weekend the same thing happened last weekend too.. o n i had a reli interesting history lesson taught by.. charlene!! lol so funny... n i drew the "historic figures"  being me they were super realistic!! o n i finished ALL the movies on my laptop n rewatched some!! now i have like nothing to life for!! just jk... o n um it was reli funny coz nikki n lucia were like fighting over whose cake i eat first n which one i said was better, they both reli gd so as usual i say reli neutral n complimenting (but in different terms n categories) stuff about both, so they both feel great about their cake n don't quite rmb i didn't give a yes- no answer =] *sigh* year 9s.. i miss those days.. i feel old!!! n i'm like the youngest in out year... loadsa
samantha xxxxxxxxxxxxxxoxxxxxxxxx Gb | | |
| OMG!!! (gay ass font) WELL i f-ed up my xanga background.. yeah!!! i fixed it AND i got the quote up!! i spent like max. 10 minutes n refreshes/ tweaked/ deleted quite a few paragraphs of my english essay n i got A*!!!!!
i cudn't get internet yesterday >< cudn't shout out last nite i'm SOOOO sorry!! happy belated birthday CYNTHIA!!! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY DADDY!!!! n cynthia more than my mummy. i meant janis more than my mum!!
have a SWEET SIXTEENth year cynthia!! and janis hav fun with ur "big ONE-EIGHT!" -another holy envelope- TO: Cynthia Lam,
Flat A 23/F,
Hang Yue Court,
8 Pitt street,
Yau Ma Tei,
"COWloon" lol -the letter- Dear Cynthia ♥, Thanks for being a super DOOPER great kickass friend!! For making (i know.. it was only ONE year, and one sports day and one of everything...) that most memorable year in my life just that much better, for making those sport days bearable by ur presence, for being with me (well n ann n donnie ^^) all those lunch hours LOL doing reli childish stuff like playing.. lol u know wat!! (still can't believe micheal wong's so selfish.. not giving us his account even when he doesn't play it anymore.. not that we do..) and i bet u didn't know that u n ann made me go out with my frds during skl holidays like summer vacation!! before u guys i was always scared, like my mum's always been over protective to all of us which leads to us rebelling against her, u probably don't remember (coz i didn't too!! but i rmb seeing this photo of me n u on a tram - possible snapped by ann- when we were doing that project!! -n yup i bet i failed our group ><) n u guys were the 1st people i ever did projects when we had to get out of skl for research with, the first time i went on public transport with frds, the first time i ever went sumwhere with frds afterskl rather than just going straight home like expected... and like the first time i went to sumone's house not in hk main island with (i think it was ann's place tho..) and stayed till after 9...lots of "first times" and like.. you are just a RELI important part of my "childhood" or shud i say adolescence memory... Being the awesome person u r, i decided to wish the sweetest, "fun-est", cutest and most unordinary (in a good way) sweet sixteen everhappy BElated sweet sixteenth + ...... gosh i've been such a bad frd lately.. i'll make it up!! well.. that's been a long ass letter.. hm marshmallow marshmallow slightly burnt and melted lol i have no f-kin clue y i said it.. i saw it in my other post n i just thought that it looks reli sweet so i typed it out.... neway.. hope u hav loadsa fun this year!!! (but of course have MOST fun during summer.. when he reservado (I’ve reserved) most of ur time ^^ whether u like it or not.. n I’ll also bother u loads towards the end of august (when I need moral support for getting my GCSE results bak...) =] don't you LOVE this awesome creative method? hehe i decided to steal my genius frd's idea again!! from MOI, the awesome-est.. LOVELIEST, sweetest girl u've ever met *mwah* xxx x samantha!!!! | | |
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